Roland's Tutorian Campaign

Session 4

Lets see whats behind door no. 1...

We go into the next room through the big ass wooden door. We find some kobolds. they are not milling around.

The party has to squeeze through the wooden door. Ana fails, and then attempts to smash the door instead. She rolls a smash check, and fails. Roland rolls a smash check, and surprise surprise, he wins.

Ana runs towards the non-milling kobolds and falls into a pit!

Turrets fire crap at Roland. He gets cross bolts stuck in his back. They throw more crap at our new ally Copperknight.

Cowardly Kobolds take some pot shots at Ana in the pit and miss.

Maravein is lagging behind the party and runs to catch up.

Heroic Roland attempts to help Ana out of the pit. She is an 8 foot tall barbarian stuck in a 20 foot deep pit, this doesn’t happen very often, understandably she is a little pissed off.thanks to Roland she manages to climb 15 feet out of the pit.

Lyantra casts some magical crap and pushes kobold no 1 into the water. It now has a wet bum.

To recap: on entering the cavern Copperknight yelled in indignation that the fool kobolds had mined into the aquifer. This is why the cavern is now half flooded.

Turrets fire some more cross bolts at Ana. She is currently vulnerable climbing out of the pit. She is now on 1 hp.

Maravein and Fluffy to the rescue!

Maravein suddenly notices a secret panel in the wall. Kim thinks this must be a DM Boss Mode escape route.

Ana has a sudden burst of rage and vaunts out of the pit. She knocks Roland over on the way. Still pissed off at the pit, she jumps 15 feet over the pit, and makes a running attack at one of the turrets, but misses.

Turret makes attack at Lyantra, she is now bloodied.

Maravein comes to the rescue yet again and throws some heals around.

Roland uses thievery on the secret panel and aims turrets at himself. He then proceeds to be reduced to 1 hp.

Evil ass kobold priest uses cold magic. Ana is again reduced to 2 hp.

Maravein has no healing powers left to help the party, so decides tog o on the offensive. She throws her magical weight around.

Ana finally gets to hit something. it dies.

Something takes a shot at Ana. She is on 2hp. Luckily it misses.

Roland, having disabled the turrets, charges the kobolds. He provokes an attack of opportunity by said kobold. He gets his ass handed to him. He is now on -1hp.

Ana takes a shot at said kobold, but misses.

Last remaining kobold dives into the water, taking one last hit at Copperknight on the way.

Copperknight takes a shot at kobold, which is now bloodied.

Ana fails hardcore and rolls the second natural 1 in a row.

Kobold runs away, provoking attack of opportunity, but Ana misses, again.

Copperknight takes a swing at fleeing kobold and owns it.

Roland is still dead.

Maravein finally passes heal check, Roland becomes not-dead.

We survey our loot. We find 1 dirty sock. And yet another set of erotic playing cards, the summer edition this time. Lyantra gets rather excited.

Copperknight explores the cavern. He makes a rather inspiring speech.

We also find some parchment saying basically not to let those meddling adventurers interrupt the ritual.

We interupt session to buy sushi cat chocolate, because the big bad mean and nasty DM ate her boost bar.

After an excilerating woollies experience, we return with enough chocolate to sink a battleship. To go with the cheese we have to provision an army through WWIII, and of course enough Diet Coke to feed an undeveloped country.

Resume session.

We discuss our further exploration options. Option 1 goes underwater where kobolds have minned into the aquifer. If we take this way Copperknight cannot join us because he is short. Option 2 is through a large stone door which Copperknight says is the tomb of his ancestors. Magical checks reveal a whole heap of serious magical crap going on behind the door.

We approach the door and have to pass some complicated skill challenge to get in.

Roland attempts to use theivery to get inside.

Ana reads the door that says she needs a dwarf friend to get inside.

“Oi Copperknight?, You’re my friend yeah?”

“Ei lass, Ya saved me life once”

She points at Copperknight. “See? Can we go inside now?”

In some bizarre way, this counts as a success.

Lyantra rolls some history checks.

Ana tries again to diplomacy the door open, but rolls a 3 and cant understand why the door wont let her in. She waves her fist threateningly at the door.

Her next turn she whines at the door.

The door speaks in dwarvish to Ana and Copperknight, and then opens.

“Yay! I win!”

We enter the room and find several defilled graves. We also find several hardcore zombies. The days of easymode kobolds are over!

Its the zombie apocolypse! Good thing we ran all those intervals!

Zombie queen yells at us. Copperknight takes a swing at zombie no.1 and misses.

Ana flies into a rage because she hardly got to hit anything last round, she does 10 damage to zombie no.1.

Roland attempts a flanking manover and fails.

Copperknight attempts to reason with the dead queen. Maravein also gives it a shot, but both fail.

2 zombies gang up on Ana. Dwarf zombie king also takes some shots at Ana in Thor hammer throwing fashion.

Zombie no.1 needs to get owned before Copperknights diplomacy can be heard above groaning of zombies. Kim gives a demonstration.

Ana takes a swing at zombie no 1 and does 23 damage.

Kim and Brenton come up with a theory as to why Roland keeps failing vault checks. His longsword keeps getting in the way. He should get it seen to.

Lyantra attempts diplomacy again. “Dwarf here! Dwarf! Dwarf!” Suprisingly, it fails.

Brenton admits he sucks cocks and doesnt care.

Lyantra threatens to chromatic orb the queens ass if she continues on her current course of action.

Queen sets her husband on the party. King throws his storm hammer again. He has been watching too much Thor.

Lyantra decides to daily the queens ass.

Ana devastating strikes the zombies ass, and then intimidates the queen, waving her mace around and having just smashed a zombie in half with said mace.

Lyantra attemtps to chromatic orb the queen, but misses. But thats ok because the queen still takes 1 d10 damage, plyus ongoing poison damage. Take that!

Zombie no. 1 bites the dust.

Ana takes some crap. She throws her sack of dragon meat at the king. “Theres your dragon. You’re next!”

Ana takes a hit from dwarf king’s storm hammer and now is on -2 hp.

Roland attempts to save Ana. He succeeds! (for once) She is now on 0 hp.

We succeed in annoying ass skill challenge. Last zombie crumbles into dust. Ana calls socks who eats dragon meat off kings feet.

We find no loot except secret god mode panel.

We have charge to find kings sword.

We find one fake crown, and one ancient spoon. May the adventures continue long.



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